im blogging this.

Filed under: funnies, quirks

fields of corny

I admit it, I’m so corny its uncool. I’m a cornflake. Calling my deep desire to go to Nepal a deep desire AND a cause is corny. The words I use to concoct myself are corny- ‘to dream’, ‘to live’, ‘to be a desperate graduate’, to think twice about my choice of words now- corny.

Do you know what corny is? Corny is contrary to popular belief, nothing to do with corn, or lame humor. Corny is to be so excessively romantic you grow bunions in your heart, your words- spoken and written- are if you could paint them- no, picture them- exactly like one of those kawaii japanese schoolgirls cos-playing some strawberry pantied sailor moon dolly. No, not one. Busloads of them posing around.

Corny is in search of happily-ever-after. Corny is having a moral after every story, having a last line to cap it all when the story ends.

Something like this.

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Corny are my handmade birthday cards with tacky poems and rhyming well-wishes. Saying things like, ’someone of your wisdom and character is the lighthouse of my life’. Corny are my ideas of love, corny is wanting to match and pair, corny drips after every footstep I take, corny is wanting to make this a lists of three all the time.
But do you know what is the baddest of it all?

Corny is about the future. They are rose-tinted lenses, they seep into what you envision for tomorrow, they don’t grow old and die- they flourish wantonly. Grow and grow until you explode from corniness. Then you become what corny calls ‘disillusioned’, but really, its only realism.

Corny is writing down my corniness and documenting it for tomorrow.

In a bid to end corny.

Filed under: funnies, quirks

my brother says…

Bad for health.

Which is whatever he doesn’t like to eat. Frequently antithetical to the literal application. “Eat the watercress in the soup” Mum says. “Nope. Bad for health.”

Smelly,

Whenever he doesn’t think something is cool enough. Also a term of endearment. Like when I go, ‘Wei, call er-jie over, I want to ask her something.’

Him: Orhh… Smelly, come here!

Your Smelly-ness…

Whenever you drive a bargain and he knows he can’t win all.

Me: Do it now/Him: No. /Me: Fine. Do it later/ Him: Yes./ Me: But for a full hour./ Him: …Yes…. your smelly-ness./ Me:?!?!

Filed under: daily grind, funnies

my sis said…

century egg. You feel like a century egg.

I told her in five minutes how weird I was feeling physically.

A century egg feels? Like what? I ask her.

No silly, I mean what you’re feeling…. is exactly the taste of a century egg.

Ah… I get it.

I feel like a century egg.

Filed under: daily grind, funnies

my mum said…

I thought I see ‘Safely remove’ can already? (she looks at me in a beguiled manner)

…after I looked at her weirdly for pulling out the thumb drive prematurely, after left clicking the remove-hardware icon on the taskbar without selecting it.

Yes Mum. That’s like asking for permission and not waiting for approval. Very good.

Filed under: daily grind, funnies