confessions of not-a-shopaholic

A chickflick is something light and funny, flavorful but not heavy-handed with big pressing issues,while resonating with the everyday girl, yet comes with a button that magiks-away-the-shithappens scenarios; when you decide you’ve had enough of the empathy .

Offscreen girls like me build an appetite for onscreen girls in shows like these- the distressed but adorable female protagonist, her blundersome crisis-ridden life, the veritably polished wardrobe that defies her circumstance and her Ken who sweeps her off the story, seemingly accepting her, despite seeing her in her nuded flaws.

The moral of the story is usually cliche I can appreciate, but its volume totally amped up in the plots. In Confessions of a Shopholic, Rebecca Bloomwood finds wisdom in her path of recovery from debt – coindentally only from the male characters around her- that some people don’t want to be ‘branded’ in high fashion, and that at the end of the day, nothing defines you -not even the things you own- other than the ones you love. Note its how the men who forgive her. Because they can afford it. Daddy has a nice nest egg he can cash in anytime for his girl. Love interest is son of an English socialite- it doesn’t matter whether Bloomwood cannot earn an income.

More little annoyances follow. While in the movie, Bloomwood might be the new IT girl to turn ‘boring’ financial journalism into relational and humorous articles, only one-liner analogies are quoted from her purportedly sensational articles. Its a sham- if the writers should suggest Bloomwood realistic, give the audience more credit and give us more to chew on with the content. Nup, only one liners. Heck, we can all write our own Rebecca Bloomwoood columms, by pairing financial speak with fashion, one item at a time. I.e. Credit default swaps are like Chinese fake branded bags. High security investments with low pay-outs are like the Hermes scarves that never fail you in time. Banks with high interest rates are like pink Jimmy Choos. You get the drift.

The other annoying thing, is how lame the dialogue can get at times. Because she’s the IT girl of the show, everything she utters (totally worthless sometimes) tinkles on ears like music gilted in gold. None of them- Nokia Man, High Fashion Editor, nor Intellectual Financial Editor, nor a roomful of shopaholics anonymous can disagree with a word she says. They always sound like they hit empihany when she opens her mouth.  She breathes wisdom- with dialogue so bad, we cannot fathom why.

At the end of the day, I didn’t buy the show. I didn’t buy what I was supposed to resonate with. I didn’t buy the allures of consumption despite wholesome, seductive descripts. I didn’t buy the whole remedy of the climax- selling your clothes just isnt going to make you spending on more. In fact, it gave me a really vague and empty feeling, this utter lie of relying on material goods to find joy and happiness. Its not true. Shoppers aren’t naive like that.

Yet I didn’t find the whole experience of this movie too bad, it delivered its chickflick minimum requirements, but it just ‘doesn’t feel right’- to quote Rebecca Bloomwood in the show (when she had to turn down her dream job which would encourage more people to fall into debt).

Yea I know what I signed up for when I wanted to see such a show. And in a way, watching the show satiates me in someway. My question though is, Why do I bother  in the first place? Why, despite all the parts I find disagreeable, do I still feel satisfied?

Filed under: cringes , chickflick

three weeks ago- and im still here.

This weekend has been an assemblage of everything that makes me feel dejected, discouraged and cheerless. The three-week marker- I’ve been back for three weeks without infecting people like a nasty vermin about my cause.
Here is where the whining threatens to overspill, but I think I shall just cap it, and scream. There. Now I feel like an empty vessel even more. All talk, no walk.

I want the whole world to support my decision, but I’ve received passive responses. I don’t have the time and the energy- to source for grants, write to corporations, boards, councils, meet up with friends and let them know what’s going on, update my blog and find publicity for my cause, get the help of friends to help put up an exhibition which for now seems like a most foolish idea. I am beginning to hate myself in this process. Where is the perservering spirit? So what if no one wants to help? So what if no one thinks they could? Can you?

Filed under: cringes, daily grind, heartaches

CPF CUT?!

Woe. sniffle. sniff. I can’t do this.

Filed under: cringes, daily grind

‘activist’ trappings

Following a declaration of my reasons for changing my diet, I have tried to be more vocal about my cause. This is conversation I had with my sis that spiraled out of control. She freaked out a little, and I snapped at being cast in the wrong cause.

I’m realizing that the more I try to be true to my anti-cruelty cause, the more ridiculous, emotional and extremist my concerns become. Its so logical. Yet I don’t know how to make it seem like that to the people who are close to me. Its like I can see myself splitting into two. I agree with the one who doesn’t eat meat, but I am also the one who is on the other side of the fence- who witnesses how the non-meat eater is perceived, the moment she tries to effect change. Futile. Its starting to hurt a bit really.

ruif- says:
i should sleep soon but not sleepy
ry says:
i should too.
ry says:
im talking to coach who is the exact opposite of you
ry says:
likes his animals best on the plate!!
ry says:
GOSH!
ruif- says:
of cos ppl like animals on plates
ruif- says:
because ITS YUMMY FOOD
ruif- says:
see whether they like to slaughter it themselves in cold blood
ry says:
he doesnt think its cruel!!
ruif- says:
because hes not a chicken or a cow!!!!!!!!
ry says:
oh i dont think thats a big problem…
ry says:
thast why ppl still eat meat
ry says:
yeah
ry says:
thats why that day i was wondering all about empathy and sympathy
ry says:
i probably sympathise, but cant empathise
ry says:
thats why i eat meat.
ruif- says:
yes. you dont NATURALLY empathize
ruif- says:
but there is NO REASON not to
ruif- says:
we are all living things
ruif- says:
we should not inflict unnecessary pain onto other living things
ruif- says:
we can eat them yes…
ruif- says:
because we are top of the food chain
ruif- says:
but we shouldnt eat them in such conditions
ruif- says:
factory farmed and all
ruif- says:
very bad.
ry says:
yeahh.
ry says:
no reason no to??
ry says:
but if you dont, you just dont…
ruif- says:
like i.e maybe we are doing things wrong
ruif- says:
that its natural to do things this way
ruif- says:
but then we can change
ry says:
how to change your heart
ruif- says:
we can change the way we view things
ry says:
its like me trying to be green, less plastic bags and all..
ry says:
has to do with me saving my own ass.
ruif- says:
that is how we moved away from slavery
ruif- says:
and racism
ry says:
i know its wrong and all….but.
ry says:
how do you explain me?
ruif- says:
you. have not been shocked enough.
ruif- says:
you have not seen enough pictures.
ruif- says:
have not watched enough videos
ry says:
i suppose…
ruif- says:
if you see a dead crow/pigeon and you cringe
ry says:
yeah
ruif- says:
that is the kind of reaction you should have for your food
ruif- says:
imagine if they picked up your crow and defeathered it.
ry says:
but remember,
ruif- says:
and cut it up
ry says:
i told you before,
ruif- says:
you cant see nothing but red meat
ry says:
kids in school saw a dead crow
ry says:
they thought it was funny
ruif- says:
but im talking about YOU
ruif- says:
i know what they think
ruif- says:
but you Im saying, cant honestly think that its funny- i know.
ry says:
but Me isnt really only me
ruif- says:
no. one step at a time. not talking abt other people
ruif- says:
just trying to convince you its not good
ry says:
ive realised something.
ry says:
no. not good something
ry says:
ive realised that if you ever feel strongly about anything, and try to encourage me to feel the same way
ry says:
there must be a button for me that tells you stop.
ry says:
or not, it’ll be like those irritating church ppl.
ruif- says:
ok. i can stop/
ry says:
yeahhh….you know, as that dawned on me i was scared!
ruif- says:
wat do you mean!>?
ruif- says:
ure irritating me
ruif- says:
first you put me in the category of an irritating church person
ruif- says:
then you say youre scared/
ruif- says:
im not the tribunal or something
ruif- says:
u can go, ‘okay. im tired of it. lets not talk abt it now’
ruif- says:
i accept that.
ry says:
no!!
ry says:
i say possibly. like i was doing the progressive thing in my mind
ruif- says:
i dont understand
ry says:
wait arh. let me copy a line
ry says:
“no. one step at a time. not talking abt other people”
ry says:
i must’ve misread that. or it innately is, to sound very resolute.
ry says:
anyway. everybody has to disagree. at times.
ry says:
i have to sleep now! goodnight!!!!
ry says:
anyway
ry says:
i AM mildly irritated that you said you can go, okay. im tired of it. lets not talk about it now.
ry says:
because all i was concerned for, was how if one day your insistence, like all activists, comes in the way of our very nice sister relations. that is all.
ry says:
goodnight!
ruif- says:
wait
ry says:
yessss
ruif- says:
okay. first i do not agree that what i believe is anything like the church and religion
ry says:
i didnt say that
ruif- says:
i took offence very much- that you said that eventually, you might regard it as an insistent church preacher type thing
ry says:
church-activists are just an extreme of the group.
ruif- says:
its not the same cause.
ruif- says:
and if u started it- discussing it- then you should at least round it up nicely
ruif- says:
instead of suggesting that perhaps i cannot stop trying to ‘convert you’
ry says:
Firstly, that wasnt an end to the conversation
ruif- says:
I DO NOT WANT TO PREACH
ry says:
it was a passing thought.
ruif- says:
im not shouting, just emphasizing.

ry says:
i never meant it to end.
ruif- says:
yes. i dont like it. thats all
ry says:
and Secondly,
ruif- says:
its not a fair passing thought..
ry says:
you have said before, you would like to try change our family, so am i to blame for thinking that you do have this optimistic goal of maybe somewhat doing your part for the anti-blood thing by non-forcefully convincing your family members
ruif- says:
no you are not wrong to think that.
ry says:
whether to convert or to encourage, isnt it all just a matter of degree?

ruif- says:
you are not ridiculous in thinking that
ruif- says:
but it is a different cause and you have to realise that i do not like the kind of comparisons you are making
ruif- says:
my point is that if you want to engage me in what i believe in
ruif- says:
you have to deal with it-
ruif- says:
and if you want me to stop
ruif- says:
i.e. press the button
ruif- says:
you just have to let me know
ruif- says:
i dont like to feel like a church evangelist.

ry says:
Yeah. that passing thought was jsut to ensure theres a button!

ruif- says: YOU DONT HAVE TO say that!? i mean. geeez
ruif- says: of cos there is a button

ruif- says:
its a civil conversation
ruif- says:
u make me feel like a character.
ruif- says:
like ‘okay- stop it. stop it.’

ry says:
alright. im sorry if i made you feel like who you didnt want to be.
ruif- says:
ok i’ll stop now too. im taking too much offence at something you didnt mean to say
ruif- says:
but said anyway./
ry says:
HAha.
ry says:
im sorry, but its a night!
ry says:
got school tomorrow~
ruif- says:
yea.

I do read like an over-reacted pain-in-the-neck don’t I? I just got very wounded up. All my poor sister was thinking was perhaps- ‘Hang on, you have to back off.’ And I do understand that, I really do. Must improve my cool. Must be more logical and in control. Should never ever have such outbursts ever. I am not the KKK or some brain-washing commune leader. I am just me, trying to be a conscientious member of the world.

But the dilemma is this. I do indeed look around to convince. But attempting to do this without appearing like a tree-hugger-type is hard. But going political on my own is as good as throwing a coin into the ocean- i.e. not doing much. I am so bloody frustrated.

Filed under: cringes, daily grind

Go away.

This blog might die of a natural death sometime soon. Absolutely wilting. I’m writing about nothing, nothing’s reading. My life is almost checkmate guys. Checkmate, and getting pretty stale on the way there too. I feel like this place is going to look exactly like Napoleon Dynamite if it had a face.

Can’t imagine having to say goodbye to C. She’s taken to switching off her mobile pretty regularly – she whom I’ve grown to depend and rely upon in Melb.  I’m frustrated when I cannot reach her. But I understand why I cannot get her to switch it back on. Its her way of coping. Because eventually, sometime soon too, my number will cease to flash on her phone. With some people, goodbyes are just such dramas.

What’s next? I don’t know. I might close this blog. Its irritating the hell out of me.  All fluff, no stuff. Don’t you feel like you’re reading foam? You think you’re onto something and then by the time you get to the end of my entry- you forget what my post is about anyway. You forget what I am about anyway.  See. You’re trying to recall what you’ve just read for the past two paras. You can’t remember a thing. Bugger the petty self confession genre. Doesn’t work for me ever.

Filed under: cringes