fingernail days

These days, I seem to be spending much time trimming finger nails. I never used to notice it before- the act of nail-cutting. But its becoming so apparent now. Reflective of the apparent emptiness in my life that I get to focus on such small details. So seeing my fingernails today- they’re long again. What happened in between now and then?

When time is passing too fast, and Im not doing very much, I start to track time on organizers, I start to make minor daily goals- in the hope that I remain productive.

I’m going to start a diary for nail-cutting.

There: 13th December, Saturday. Trimmed my fingernails.

Filed under: daily grind

code-red

My internal system is registering ‘CRISIS!’ repeatedly, in the manner of old fire alarms of vacated buildings going off- signaling dysfunction, but with no apparent urgency, hardly a hazard with no casualty in sight.

Or it thinks. I feel like I am still trapped somewhere in this building, unable to determine the limits of my safety. C-R-I-S-I-S beeps, replicates, reassembles itself like scrabble letters and finds its way back into that dreaded word again, like a sledgehammer that won’t stop.

This voice in my head- lets call her the narrator- she really pisses me off.

Filed under: daily grind