October 31, 2006 • 4:02 am
and the bad things get baaaaaadder. So the bad thing about a good thing getting beeeetter is when it doesn’t make your bad good. And it -the good thing i mean- getting better, sometimes means it gets further away from you, resulting in your not-so-good suddenly taking a turn for the worse.
why the hell did you call me RUI ?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!
Freeeks out* Stranger danger. Have I told you I have never managed to fall out of like? And that is the worst kind of deficiency anybody can be crippled with. I mean, how undiscerning, how un-suave. So when the most recent (and it isn’t even very recent) person you’ve liked – the person you’ve not seen for in ages and you’re still trying to get over – suddenly bumps into you on the street and after a brief acquaintancy-type-chat, says ‘Bye RUI‘…
The world stops.
I curse. I mean. First of all its my chinese name. Secondly its my shortened chinese name. Thats like trespassing, dude.
My policy is to never EVER shorten other people’s names unless you know all their dirty secrets. I.e. you’re friends. So if I ever look at you funny if you mutate my introduced-name to you, you know why. Like, don’t act friendly lah.
p.s. rui and may rhymes. to avoid confusion, i shall change my english name to june instead. i mean, i was nearly born in june. And this post deserves a new category.
Filed under: cringes
October 25, 2006 • 6:14 am
the leaves of the library book spread wide
you bite into a cookie; the crumbs fall into that middle line.
crack?
you hope to leave a presence
so the next reader knows
you connected on that theory, that page, that line
oh prudence.
sometimes you find snot (you left yours on page four)
you quickly turn the page
like you close a door
you don’t want to know the previous reader
don’t want to connect on that theory, that page, that line
oh pagedwall.
**disclaimer: i do not leave things on page four**
Filed under: written word
October 24, 2006 • 2:48 am
Today I think, I do want to stay.
I’m just afraid.
Filed under: daily grind
She normally hates sharing the bed. This morning it just felt so right. Her on the inside – tucked, not trapped. Warm cocoon, not sardine can. He had a silhouette she didn’t care about as he sat upright at the edge of the spartan spring matteress, rubbing his eyes. Not more than the light dent he made beside her anyway- that morning-after-cliche.
He stood up, walked into the toilet, she stretched, woke up, and walked to the dining table and had breakfast anyway.
“You know, I don’t really know them…” he said, turning around at the cusp of the shower.
She walked over. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t know them that well either. Why are you always so preoccuppied with what other people think, why do you feel you have to be absolute best friends with everyone, why are you always so damn bluddy planning on the future?” she replied, not in any particular tone.
“I was just saying!!!” he protested, looking hurt and ready to bite.
“Well, I know that’s what you’re thinking.” she retorted in defence.
He looked surprised. And paused for a moment. Then he smiled. Like a little boy who had gotten what he wanted. He wouldn’t fight that. He closed the shower door.
She smiled. Like a little girl who got barbie her ken. Because she was able to say, I know you. That felt like the biggest accomplishment in her life. Well, starting this morning anyway.
Filed under: written word
October 16, 2006 • 7:05 am
Mondays. You spend your entire weekend dreading it and when it comes, its not so bad after all. I forgot I was and have always been a fan of Mondays. Morning lectures, library visit, then treated myself to a movie. Monday’s $5 before 5. Excellent for the student budget.
Broke my chick-flick fast. (Chick Flicks make me so delusional about life. Hate hate hate.) Devil wears Prada- ticks all the boxes of conventional chick flick- a filmic bible of fashion, with the lashes, nails and heels. And the pilgrimage to Paris. Chick Flick ding-ding-ding. Irritated but surprisingly happy after credits came. Drugged. Yes.
“If she weren’t passive, well then she lacks desire. If she lacks desire, then she doesn’t feel female enough. If she weren’t female, well the world would cave in.”
-Karen Finley (not exact wording)
Filed under: daily grind
