chewed-out

You only get one kind of a person who sits on her own chewed-out gum. Removing herself from the bench, she curses the inappropriate fool who soiled her sarong party skirt- and then a second later, realises her punishing self-affliction.

Now you know the why the gums were banned. No, now you know who, Singapore should ban.

And then I defiantly chew more gum, stick more gum. What are the odds?

Filed under: daily grind

Alamak. Im such a homemaker. I love making the bed. Loooooove it. Especially if its a flatsheet. And if you don’t know what that means, you shouldn’t feel too inadequate, because its just means that Im one step ahead of you in the home department, no worries. Aiiiiii. Immense satisfaction from tucking the ends in. Stretching the sheet taut- anti-wrinkle style. Smooth, smooth. See Mummy, no crease!

Beat the pillows, fluff them up. Toss the doona, make sure it covers every inch of bed. Fold it down on top right-hand, so that it makes a triangle for style. (Who says bed-making is unimaginative? HAH!) Position Mr. Bobs pertinently behind stylistic flair. Hell I would have room spray and chuck daisies on pillow if I had my way.

After getting this disturbing anti-anti-establishment tendency of mine out of the way, let’s talk about the perfect white male. After 2 years, I’ve finally met him in my tutorial. Get your scorecard out.

First of all- he’s in my tutorial for a subject called Nymphs, Sluts and Madonnas. You’ll be forgiven if you think that all males who take the subject are either clueless, gay, or im-trying-too-hard-to-be-politically-correct. At this point, I think he’s none of the above. (1 star)

Next, he’s no quiet wallflower. Not that I’m a fan of showy types, but he should be forgiven for being so active, by being so correct. There doesn’t seem to be a subject he doesn’t have a sensitive, informed, unbiased opinion on. From female hysterics to feminist semiotic. (1 star)

Also, he has curly hair. He doesn’t shave but still looks good. (1 star)

And. He’s sartorially savvy, without being vain. His style is casual prep- his get-up always looks so effortless, I know its pre-meditated.(1 star)

So- four stars. Not exactly perfect yet I guess. The missing star for being such a generic archetype. I already know he’s a nice guy even though I don’t know him. The missing star just in case he’s gay. Then you’ll still be the perfect white male, but just not to me. Perfect white males are a little difficult to find despite two years here, you know? I suppose I am getting acclimatised. Finally.

To end on a depressing note- tell me how come, HOW COME, when you’re unhappy and you switch on your play-list to listen to some nice music to relax, how is that every song relates to your woes? Oh like suddenly random singers know me so well. Two things. A) Fucking typical problems. B) G-d understands. Finally.

Filed under: daily grind

the spray on my face…

makes me feel like a child in a sprinkler-garden.

Filed under: daily grind

what happens someone cooks green curry…

green curry on sunday.

green curry instant noodles on monday.

green curry fried overnight rice on tuesday.

Filed under: daily grind

i hate the cold wars that i start.

You can’t take your words back, they say. But sometimes, its better to have said, than to not say.

Words born out of hurt. Words that will fester if you don’t let it be known. Words that will eat into your soul and drivel straight into your heart, and then vanish so deep-in, you mistakenly assume- harm’s done. But what is irreparable is beyond the surface. The significance of the conflict is glaring in its lack. The words have punctured the heart because they weren’t granted release. And after that, all is lost. Heart wins. Mind- KO. Ruif, tortured.

I should have yelled. I should have said,

YES I’M HOPPING MAD, DEEPLY OFFENDED.

But you know what, I’m not, anymore. Seriously, I’m incapable of repairing it.

Filed under: daily grind